Leaf 373 – Reflections
Since I was very young, I have
always loved goldfinches. When I was a child growing up on the rural edgelands
of London sparrows seemed to be everywhere, while goldfinches were a relative
rarity. By the time I moved to Japan (a fair few decades later), something had
changed in London’s ecology. Sparrows had rapidly declined, while goldfinches
had increased. Both birds are favourites of mine for similar reasons. I love
hearing them chatter away as they seem to flock together, excitedly dashing
from one place to the next. Consequently, goldfinches seemed to be a natural
subject for my haiku. I’ve written several haiku about sparrows, but so far
this is the first and only haiku I’ve written about goldfinches – and,
personally, I think it is one of my best. But not so the editors of modern
haiku journals! – I have tried to place it in numerous publications, yet each
time it has been turned down and I can’t quite fathom why. A first draft of it
was very nearly accepted by one very well-known and much respected haiku
magazine; and so, it was duly re-drafted in an attempt to make it more concise,
but alas to no avail. For what it’s worth, I present both poems here (the
re-draft first, followed by the original version), because I still like both of
them very much. I leave it to the reader to decide which they prefer.
Goldfinches
fast fleeting flashes
gone.
***
In fleeting glimpses,
flurries, flashing, fast,
– goldfinches, gone.